


A Bad Day in Rock Star Town

by dirtypawshistorie



Series: Fluff Haikyuu!! one-shots to make souls better [5]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Established Relationship, Future Fic, Hurt/Comfort, Kenma is still Worldfamous Kodzuken, M/M, POV First Person, POV Kuroo Tetsurou, Rock Star!Kuroo, Stressful lifestyle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-09-01
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:01:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26239024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dirtypawshistorie/pseuds/dirtypawshistorie
Summary: Kuroo likes to sing, luckily he got a living out of it and people like him, yeah, who wouldn't like him? But even the most talented, happy, extrovert, chill ones, had bad days.CW in notes.
Relationships: Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Kuroo Tetsurou & OC
Series: Fluff Haikyuu!! one-shots to make souls better [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1623076
Kudos: 20





	A Bad Day in Rock Star Town

**Author's Note:**

> CW: Stress, Mentions of self-harming thoughts, Physical Assault, Descriptive Fainting. Read at your own discretion.

This white sink is nice, too nice… How much did this thing could have cost? It shouldn't be too expensive 'cause of the clearly cheap marble it's made of, all streaky and muddy… but it still looks fancy enough, too fancy for a public restroom. Funny thing, its only purpose is for washing piss off some dude's hands. I opened the faucet to let the water run, testing the temperature with my fingertips, avoiding the sensation of cold water in my face. Once warm enough, I grabbed some of the weird exfoliator Abby gave me, telling me that it has some weird relaxing stuff. It's only minty for me, and it burned a little, so I rinsed it off quickly. My skin does feel smoother though.

I closed the water and dried my face looking at my reflection in the bathroom mirror. Well, have I not had better days? Even if the artificial lights didn't help me, my skin is still very pale and the bags under my eyes way darker than yesterday. I felt a tingling sensation on my cheeks and sweat form under my bangs although I've just dried them. I smiled, noticing that at least my hair was still rocking.

Getting all my stuff in the backpack again and putting on my black sweater jacket and my sunglasses on, I took a last look in the mirror, a deep breath letting the air get into my lungs and feel the oxygen give me the energy I needed.

''Showtime, lover boy,'' I told at my reflection, then I slapped myself in the face. I need to be less stupid. 

I pushed the bathroom door open and walked into the LAX halls, with at least a hundred people waiting for me. I ain’t gonna lie, it felt nice-- being liked this much. What? I’m being honest and also like the attention. I get why people would do anything for being famous, all the pricey stuff, some chicks to hang out, a lot of respect.

''What' up?'' I yelled, giving a peace sign, making a disturbingly large amount of teenagers scream.

Yes, it is nice to have people that like me a lot, at most. But still.

_ ''We love you, Kuroo!!'' ''Please, sing this!!'' ''You're the best'' ''OMG OMG OMG'' _

My cheeks start feeling numb again from the permanent smiling on my face, and a headache warns its way into my forehead. I'm an honest fella, I really am. I don't start bullshit and don't fake bullshit. So, when I'm not in the mood to be all goody and charming, I feel something nasty crawling up my arms. But still, I have to manage to keep on the show.

My bodyguards got me out of the tumults to get at the boarding area, persuading most of my fans. I got to sing some CD's, I got a bra thrown at me again, hold on, this lace would look great on −

A girl pushed the keychain in front of my face. 

''Oi, sweet. A volleyball!'' That gift was nice, it was a small keychain with a little MIKASA volleyball hanging from it.

''I'm so glad you like it,'' the blondie said, she must've been looking deep in my history to know that I'm a big fan of volleyball. The smile I got from her when I hugged was worth the reprimand I got from my security staff and my mood didn’t feel so heavy anymore.

All done and set, I finally could feel some quiet in the waiting area, reading a new novel that Akami recommended to me. Abby arrived by my side like a fallen angel with the coffee I asked her for and sat beside me.

''Here's yours,'' she said, handing me my Moka Frappe.

''Thank you,'' it was a little too sweet.

Abby nodded and looked into her bag, I tried to return to my page but then she said, ''No problem, and by the way, Akami called.''

I immediately looked at her, lowering my glasses down so I could look at her properly ''Yeah? What did she want?''

''She managed to clear your weekend''.

Suddenly the words in the paper in front of me didn't seem interesting at all. I stopped myself for a moment, this must be a joke. My schedule was super full the next seven days in a row, with the album dropping and all the publicity. My hands started sweating and I swear, I felt the world stop for a moment.

''She said that she'll give you some free time before the shit show starts''. Abby finished, smiling to herself hiding behind her coffee cup.

I looked at my assistant, trying to find any sign of her playing a nasty lie on me. Maybe she wanted to get revenge for that fake bug I put on her bed, or when last week I arrived with a hangover from a night out in a miraculous bar in America where I found Bokuto and Chibi-chan. 

Free time next week? That meant—

''What about the morning interview in America,'' those guys were hard to deal with.

Abby took a sip from her coffee and opened a book of her own ''Moved to next Wednesday.''

''And interview with Mr. Martin?''

''Moved to Monday evening.''

''Argh'' I grunted. ''I'll be so busy,'' I closed the book and took off my glasses. The white fluffy clouds outside the window got my attention, while letting the funny feeling dance in my stomach, the bigger one looked like a mug and the other like a slice of pizza.

''So, you're happy?'' Finally she turned away from her book and grinned at me like I was her damn son. Good ol' cheesy Abby.

''Isn't obvious? I'm going home for the weeke—Oh shit,''  _ I forgot _ .

''You didn't forget, remember?'' Abby told me while handing me her phone and showing me the tracking of the package I ordered yesterday.

I looked at the number and icons on the small device, a small laugh to myself, stroking my eyes with the back of my hands. Why did my embarrassment always come in moments like this? I know I'm sappy, but dear god, I shouldn't be so excited. I looked at the screen showing me the receipt of a new black and yellow hoodie. It's not a big deal, it's just a sweater as a gift for Kenma. I've never been good with presents, really, but I think this time I may have nailed it.

Let me explain.

He doesn't like expensive goods other than his video games, which he owns lots and has every single one he wants. If he doesn't have one in particular it's 'cause he doesn't want it enough or maybe isn’t even out yet. Kenma also doesn't like to go on dates or vacations that much, as the house cat he is.

But Kenma's thing are baggy clothes, sometimes my old clothes I find him wearing after weeks of looking for them, and maybe if I give him this sweater, he would wear it all the time when he misses me.

I feel a toothy grin across my face. Yeah, I'm sure he's going to kick me when I tell him that.

''He'll look cute in it,'' I said as I opened my book again and put on my earphones trying to chill. Relaxing would be good for me, I have a long week ahead before my little fairy tale gate away next weekend comes. The tingling sensation on my shoulders would fade eventually and maybe I'll get some decent sleep tonight. Although I felt a sensation of being slowly choked, I willed myself serene. There's nothing to worry about.

''Could you please hand me a donut?'' I asked Abby kindly.

''Here,'' she responded, handing me a glazed donut. I grabbed it and took a big bite, letting the sugary taste wash my mouth. I always forget how good these are, and I ended up finishing it by my third bite.

♬♫♪◖◗♪♫♬

Maybe you wouldn't know this, but I hate Thursday's.

I remember when I was still a flaccid little punk, car wheeling on my way back home and fell down a hill, sprinting my ankle, ruining my volleyball summer plans. But at least I could spend more time with Kenma playing Mario 64. That tragic day happened on a Thursday.

Then there was the time I got confessed by this  _ who knows where the hell she came from  _ girl in the lockers. Me, the gentleman I truly am, told her that I was not interested, I had a lot of stuff to do at the time. Which I had, we had the Tokyo tournament that month, I didn't have any time to be spoiling some girl I didn't even know about. But still most girls at school gave me shit for it, giving me nasty looks on the hallway and pointing at me while whispering. I didn't care, but it was annoying sometimes.

That girl confessed, yet again, on a Thursday.

Thursday's aren't my thing bro', a lot of bad days, bad Thursdays, it seems like a pattern.

And again, there I was on a Thursday, in front of thousands of people, me working my ass off in this song, making my guitar roar across the stadium. The thrill of everyone singing alongside me, this stupid song I wrote when I was sixteen and too young to even understand what I was talking about. Maybe that's why they like it so much, it sounds so lost yet so found. I do like this song if you asked me.

Everything was great until, yeah, it is Thursday, and someone hurled at me in the middle of the stage, making me fall. I ain't gonna lie, my head hurt a shit ton, and I wanted to throw a punch to this guy, but my security got him out of the way before I realized.

Still, there was something off about the situation. The air started to get harder to breath, I felt my chest bursting like it was going to explode, also, my eyes couldn't focus. My mind felt fuzzy, I only could hear a single string of frequency against my ears, not even my beating heart audible.

''Kuroo, are you okay?'' There it was good ol' Abby, making sure I was fine.

''Yeah, babe. Why you ask?'' Maybe 'cause I was boneless on the floor?

Abby got closer and grabbed my face, I couldn't see anything but the overwhelming lights on the stage, then the yellow blond of Abby's hair. I liked Abby for many reasons, her strong will and her art of making my days go without trouble, prepared for any problem. And it was only her blonde hair that I saw relevant to her appearance.

I felt calm somehow, everything will be alright, and then, I went to sleep.

♬♫♪◖◗♪♫♬

Waking up in somewhere you don't remember ever been before it's trippy, and if it's in a hospital bed it's way worse. I didn't like how the white sheets clang to my legs and how my fingers felt the delicate fabric of the johnny coat I was wearing. I turned my head around trying to get an idea of where I was. Akami-san is on her phone probably yelling at someone.

'' _ He's not going to do it, John. Leave it, _ '' So she was talking to him, it looks like I'm not going to go to the photoshoot.

Abby was the first one to notice I was awake, jumping from her chair and hugged me in a blink.

''You're heavy,'' I said in a very lame hoarse voice.

''You're okay, you're finally okay,'' She sounded as if the air wasn't enough, I managed to see through my cloudy sight, her back breathing erratically, ''I swear nothing like this will happen again.''

''What are you talking about?''

''It seems you fainted from stress, as the doctors said. You've been pushing it too much,'' Akami's voice was in the same tone as usual, serious and composed. But it still felt like it was the only sound in the world, people outside quiet while my head tried to comprehend what she said.

Something broke inside, maybe it was my heart, or a fresh change of guilt against my chest, resting in the back of my head and letting my ear get all hot. Bringing one of my hands to my face, I combed my hair with my fingers, pulling it a little at my bangs. My eyes started to get glossy, but I wouldn't let them loose. Letting out a big sigh I tried to manage, ''What exactly happened?''

''After you fell from the stage, I had the feeling something was wrong,'' Abby started. ''You weren't coming back up. When I saw the guy jump on you, I worried for the poor guy since I thought you were going to punch him, but you stayed on the floor, mumbling stuff.'' Abby talked in a single breath, clearly stressed and with her eyeglasses getting foggy. Another blanket of shame hugged me, this time in my arms making them tingle and hot, flexing my fingers to let the numbness go away.

''You should have said something,'' Akami progressed, taking off her sunglasses and letting her bright red hair fall off her ponytail, she looked deadly as always. She seemed mad, with good reasons. ''It's also your responsibility to take care of yourself. If you're feeling too worn out you should say something.''

''But I'm okay,'' Even I winced at how pathetic my defense sounded.

''Yes, luckily you are.''

Akami finally relaxed, maybe I wasn't going to get scolded. ''Do not let it happen again,'' she said, in a grounded and bossy voice.

I nodded and smiled at her trying to say thank you. She nodded back.

''Well, that sounds good,'' I said as I tried to sit, but Abby held my arm before I could move.

''But there's a problem Kuroo,'' she told me with her bottom lip popping out, clearly bugged by something. What else could be bother−? 

Oh no, what day is it? Was it still Thursday?

Abby wiped the tears from her eyes and grabbed my hand, gripping it tightly and making my chest go numb.

''You're not going to be able to fly to Japan tomorrow. The doctors said it was best to just let you rest and not move cities for now.''

Okay, that did hurt.

I felt a laugh go out of my lips and tried to keep my face as calm as I could. I ran my palm against my face and tried to breath, but it got harder. I could only hide my eyes and smile stupidly as I said, ''Man, that sucks.''

''I can't make you fly in this condition, I'll have to make you check in in the hotel for another three days until I'm sure you aren't in danger and well rested,'' Akami-san said, grabbing her purse and walking to the door. ''I know you're angry, don't try to hide it.''

''I'm not a child anymore, Manager-san,'' I hate it when she sees through me.

''Child or not, I know you. Please don't be mad, just try to rest,'' She answered while waving her hand. ''I'm going to get us some lunch, I'll come back in a moment,'' and she closed the door.

Leaving us Abby and me alone, her trying to evade my face, playing with one of her straight strands. And me, all I was thinking about was the stupid sweater. It should be in Tokyo by now, delivered tomorrow. As tomorrow is the special day.

''Kuroo, boy. Everything is alright, maybe you'll be able to go in a few weeks,'' I don't like it when Abby talks to me like a child, I'm the same age as her, dammit.

''I know, Abby. I'm fine,'' I responded while whipping a rebel tear down my cheek.

Luckily Abby didn't say another word and stood up walking away. I kept my gaze on the ceiling, biting my lip and clutching the white fabric under my fingers. The smell of sterilized alcohol and the monotone voices outside the hallway made me dizzy, I've never liked hospitals and how tense the mood always was. An intense pain was slowly appearing in my forehead, and I closed my eyes trying to go to sleep.

Until I heard some curtains move and looked at Abby, who cleared the view on the window, giving me a full look outside. The orange and pink rays of light and the sun setting behind the high buildings of New York. I felt its warmth reach my skin, letting a sheer sensation of calm drape me and took me back to my childhood summer days at Tokio.

And that's why Abby is the best assistance I've had until today, she knew how to take care of me.

A phone ringtone totally ruined the mood and made me turn my attention to Abby's bag. Abby took the phone out of the purse and looked at the screen. Her eyes widening and a small smile appearing on her lips.

''Who is it?'' I asked.

''Here,'' she handed me the phone. I looked at the Name of the screen and snorted. I picked up and instantly put the phone on speaker, knowing what was to come.

'' _OI, BAKA,_ '' Yaku yelled at the other line. 

''Eeh? That's how you greet your beloved, famous, loved by all, best friend?'' I could only imagine the mischief grin that Yaku must've had.

_ ''You're still the same dumbass, you can't fool me _ ''

''Oi''

We both laughed and I felt lighter, it had been a long time since I heard from him.

'' _ Kuroo, I was so worried _ ''

''Yeah, I get it'' I made a sign for Abby to get out and give me a moment, she nodded as got out the hospital room ''I'm all right, thought. So you don't have to worry for your beloved captain.''

'' _ Hey, I'm serious. What happened was on all the news, people were going riot trying to get on the hospital to see you. I also heard that the du— _ ''

''Let's not talk about it, okay?'' I interrupted him, at that moment I wanted to relax and speak with my friend ''How are you? Are you still freezin’? How's that stupid Russian?''

'' _ Kuroo. _ ''

''Don't tell me you've already broken up. C'mon dude, he ain't that bad.''

'' _ Kuroo, the press flooded your house. _ ''

I almost regretted sitting down so fast, the words making my body react without my control, instantly making my headache transform into migraine, but I was too focused on what Yaku was saying to care.

'' _ Don't worry, I called Kenma and he told me that he was okay. He just couldn't go to the grocery store, so he now was going to order take out. _ ''

I felt the air go out of my lungs and I looked for something to clean the sweat on my forehead, grabbing one napkin that was on the side table.

''Thanks for that,'' my voice still sounded too hoarse for my liking ''I'm going to hang up now, I'll call you later.''

'' _ Yeah, it's okay. Tell Kenma I said hi, _ '' Yaku always knew stuff without telling him so, I really like him for that sometimes.

''Got it. Bye, man.''

'' _ Bye. _ ''

When my finger touched the red icon, I instantly ran it on my screen to look for his number, calling him as soon as I found it, moving the phone to my ear and feeling my shoulders get more tense with every waiting ringtone.

A ladylike robotic voice told me that the phone was out of reach, so I hung up and left my phone on the little wood table. I looked out of the window again, seeing it's orange light fade to a dark blue, and the city lights lit up one by one. My stomach started to grunt and felt my brows frown.

Closing my eyes, I gave myself a moment. Counting from hundred to one, evening my erratic breathing. He isn't a child, he takes better care of himself than I'll ever do. Probably he shut his phone 'cause he was streaming, or maybe he was actually sleeping. It didn't matter, Kenma was okay, Yaku told me he called and he was okay.

He was okay.

Sometimes when I'm trying to relax or sleep, stupid self-harming thoughts come to my head, intrusive and undesired. They make me feel like shit. A little high pitch voice inside my head, telling me that my career ain't shit, that I should just quit and go back to Tokyo. That all the hassle wasn't worth it, not even the high sacrifices I've made weren't good enough for me to ever be what I wanted. That I should just quit or Kenma was going to get tired from it.

That maybe Kenma was really going to get tired from me.

I covered my mouth with my right palm and felt my breathing on my fingers.

But then a notification on my phone got my attention, Kodzuken has uploaded.  _ ''Taking a break''  _ the title said, and let out all the air. Another stupid smile across my face. __

Luckily I got reminded of what's important. 

I could almost hear him, to not let those intrusive words get to my core. And he was right, I'm too cool for that. What I have is what I've earned. Since the moment I presented all my compositions to Akami in that bar in Tokyo, Kenma and the guys by my side, I told myself that I was going to be in for it. Didn't matter what it'd take, I'll fight for what I want.

I've always loved music, still happy for the memory of a ten year old punk playing the guitar chords of his grandad in the garage, not making any note out of it, but still having a lot of fun.

And Kenma is my best friend, all this time he has been by my side.

I felt my chest vibrate remembering a hot spring night at Kenma's room, both playing Ocarina, long after the celebration dinner we had at home 'cause of my high school graduation.

A big grin curled my cheeks, when I recited the cheeky little brat's words in my head.

That sneaky little punk, always dropping big bombs like he was talking about the weather. Saying  _ ''I like you''  _ in a breath that almost passes through my eyes, my ears and the stupid chips.

My skin felt on fire, knowing full well of my own embarrassment at our sappy confession. Since that day, Kenma has been by my side. Not that he wasn't already, but now I could hug and even better, kiss him, and he wouldn't complain; not so much at least, making me feel lucky that I'm the nerd he fell in love with. And I'm luckier, that the small guy who barely showed any emotion, who had the intelligence of an experienced combat colonel, who could be deadly with only his golden eyes looking defiantly at you, looking so freaking cute at the same time, who was my best friend I've known since forever and who I was stupidly in love with, was my boyfriend.

My body felt heavy and my eyes burned against the city night lights, knowing that I should probably rest, I closed them for a moment. Once I woke up I could try again and call him.

♬♫♪◖◗♪♫♬

''He's still asleep.''

''It's okay, I can wait.''

''Do you want something?''

''I'm fine, thank you,'' the boy said, animal crossing music sounding faintly in the hotel bedroom and the slurp of a straw drinking an almost empty cup.

It was funny, waking up to a stupid video game's music was the calmest thing has happened to me in a while. The scent of vinegar chips suddenly hit my face, no reminiscent of the alcohol smell around the room. I'm sure I'm weird, when my body heats my skin, making my hands sweat and my fingers nib. A stupid smile appeared in my face while I try to calm my beating heart, making me feel like that too confident, know it all, teenager I used to be.

''Hey,'' I said, clearing my throat trying to ease a knot in the way, ''You're here.''

''Oh, you're awake,'' Kenma responded, still focused on his screen, voice softly in his lips barely moving. My shoulders tensed without me noticing, the tone of his voice making daggers pierce through me.

''I'm glad you're here,'' I extended my hand to him and caressed his arm that was resting in the armchair, ''I'm sorry that you had to move your schedule.''

''Don't worry,'' he was still hiding his eyes from me with the stupid switch.

''Kenma.''

''Hmm-hm?''

''Is it Friday, right?''

''Yes, it is.''

''Happy birthday.''

The sound of the console shutting off and moving down, revealing a pale delicate face, whose eyes were reddened from the tears he must've shed, and whose hair was all over the place from probably not sleeping on a proper bed the last couple of days. I saw his hand reach mine, interlacing our fingers in a strong bond, making my head spin with the sensation of those skilled fingers against my palm.

''Thank you,'' he replied to me and rested his head on my hip, making circles on my leg through the fabric with his other hand, ''Sorry for not getting here sooner.''

''Nah, it's fine. Nothing serious happened,'' I tried to sound as calm as I could.

But that didn't keep Kenma from giving me a slap on my knee and for his eyebrows to frown in annoyance.

''If you start telling me that it's nothing, I'm going to pinch your arm,'' He looked so cute in that red hoodie, my red hoodie— would you look at that, he was already wearing my stuff.

''I get it, I get it,'' I lifted my palm in sign of redemption. ''But don't worry too much, you have your own stuff to worry about.''

''My fan base is understandable, I've already settled that I was going to take a hiatus for a few days 'cause of my birthday.''

''Oh really?''

''Yes, but I have to stream a full 24 hrs now, I promised.''

''Good for me, then.''

''Stop it, it'll become creepy if I know you're watching me 24/7.''

''You don't care some other stranger does it?''

''No.''

''Hmm.''

Kenma settled his head again on my lap, this time closing his eyes and gripping my hand with both of his, playing with each nub on my fingers, letting me have the chance to admire his blushed cheeks. I couldn't help myself and pinched his face with my other hand, making woo's noises, he let me.

Now I do feel bad.

''I'm sorry for making you have a shitty birthday in some far away hotel, at a city you don't even like and not even giving you the gift I planned on giving you.''

Kenma opened his eyes and arched an eyebrow ''Kuro, please. You're crying like a baby.''

I took another wet breath and covered my eyes, feeling my cheeks heat up. ''I'm just happy, okay? God, I'm so cringe,'' I wiped a tear from my cheek and tugged Kenma closer, letting myself relax caressing the soft black rooted blonde hair.

''You shouldn't push yourself so much.'' Kenma responded in muffled sounds against my stomach.

Why did Kenma always know what's wrong with me? It is a good thing, I can't deny it, but still, it makes me worry how he's always thinking about me. And the least thing I want right now is a worrying Kenma.

''I'm okay.'' I said while moving a strand of his bangs behind his ears, making me breath his fresh shampoo scent.

Kenma pushed himself up to look directly into my face, clearly not believing what I was saying. I'm so bad at hiding things from him.

''You don't look okay,'' he reprimanded me.

I sighed, ''I'll be.''

''Why not now?''

''I--… I'm just tired. Everything's been kind of heavy, and with what happened last night—'' I found myself out of words, my head was hyperventilating but my mouth couldn’t elaborate a noise.

''It was scary,'' Kenma always knew what I wanted to say.

''Yes, it was.''

I did remember the fear of that night. Dread of not being able to breathe anymore, of knowing that my life was so demanding sometimes, people looking at me like a creature instead of a human. Still, I've never let myself care what people think about me. Some people thought I sing like shit, others think my lyrics are ghostwritten, and there's always someone saying '' _ He's a damn faggot _ ''. Let them be damned and think whatever they want.

But what makes my core tremble, making the air not enough to breath, the idea of someone trying to harm me just 'cause I sing or they think of me of something else than the stupid guy that I am, too complexed with his own hair and too intense with his music... trying to make me some kind of tragic hero or make themselves somewhat famous.

And even still, hurting  _ me _ ? I get it, you know, I get. I'm too obnoxious and an ass sometimes, I can see how someone can come to hate me.

But then the idea, the possibility that someone could also try to hurt Kenma just because of me?

Our relationship was well received, ourselves pulling our truth from the start.

'' _ Hey, chat. Yes, my boyfriend really is Kuroo. Yes, the same one he had a concert last week in New York. Please, stop it, I don't want to know what you think about his looks and how perfect his ass is.'' _

_ ''I want to dedicate this piece to someone from my hometown, which by the way, you should be sleeping now. Good night, kitten, and hope y'all like it'' _

So, everyone knew that if they wanted to hurt me, the easiest way, was hurting Kenma.

My body moved on its own, sitting and bringing Kenma's head to my chest, digging my nose deeper into his neck smelling the scent of vinegar, lime shampoo and a touch of his favorite cologne, feeling the red soft fabric against my skin and his eyelashes tickling my nape.

''I'm sorry,'' I whispered, being honest to both of us, admitting the guilt that was growing on my chest.

''It's okay,'' he answered, his breath against my shoulder. ''There's nothing you should be sorry for, just take better care of yourself.''

I nodded and relaxed. We hugged him another while, the morning sun warming the walls, making it clearer for me to see his calm and satisfied face, cheeks rounding his smiling eyes, assuring me how truly lucky I am from having someone that cares for me this much and how much I want to keep for myself.

Man, it really hurts to be in love sometimes.

♬♫♪◖◗♪♫♬

I was having my sweet slumber placid dreams, full of abstract stuff that makes me rethink if I am really, okay.

I think I can recollect a mushroom head, comparable looking like my house cat, Puddin. Yaku and Nishinoya jumping from hill to hill, hills that looked too much like Abby's glasses, and me having the time of my life drinking a jumbo cup of Asai beer when a hushing and harsh hand appeared on the sky, to then rush my shoulder, waking me up. 

Wasn't I a poor rock star in distress? Can't I get all my missed sleeping hours? These people don't have any respect.

But then I noticed that my hands were empty from a delicate pair and my curiosity got the best of me, waking up to the dark room lit only by a small lamp. Abby by my side without her glasses and a donut on hand. She was giving me cravings, I wanted to tear it away from her hands. I reached for it, but she pulled it away.

With my eyebrows frowning I snarked, ''What?''

''I've got a surprise,'' her tone was too playful, that didn't mean any good.

''Oh no, please. No more surprises,'' I said as I dragged my palm across my face, letting a soft grunt.

''Oh, yes.''

Abby grabbed her back bag and took out my shoes and clothes, the red hoodie included, handing them to me. I sat at the edge of the bed, and the numbness of my slumber faded away while I stretched my toes. Taking the clothes on my lap, I stood up slowly, letting the blood slowly get to my feet. Once I knew I could walk, I stretched my back as I headed to the little bathroom.

''I don't know what you have in mind, but I'm sure as hell not going to take the blame on this if Manager-chan gets mad,'' I told her through the door.

''Oh, you're such a nerd. Akami-san already knows, she said it was okay to get out and have some fun,'' her voice sounded too cheerful, it was scary.

''Yeah, I doubt that.''

''C'mon, it's fine. The doctors only keep you here 'cause of the stress.''

''…Yeah, I know. It sucks.''

''It does, but you're the best at what you do, so you'll be fine''

''I am, ain't I?''

''Oh my god, forget what I said.''

I was fully clothed and as soon as I stepped outside, Abby blinded with my own black napkin. My stomach did a flip and now I really wanted to know what the hell she was planning, her and Kenma.

Maybe it was worth it, maybe it wasn't, but I didn't like the feeling of walking blinded through strange hotel halls, only my cynical assistant by my side and my boyfriend nowhere to be seen.

Other people's voices were slowly fading the further we went, until Abby walked us into an empty hall where the echo was more noticeable and took a walk upstairs. Did Abby finally decide to kill me? The traitor, after all of our donuts together. I felt myself slump at a door, and Abby barely kept me from hitting my head. She was probably laughing her ass off.

''Hmm, should I or should I not give you the bonuses of this month,'' I told her while I crossed my arm, getting restless. ''What is this.''

''Wait here,'' she responded.

I heard the door open, then close, I waited for five minutes and she wasn't coming back, so hell with it. I took off my blindfold and where the hell was I. Probably the way to the hotel's stairs to the rooftop.

Oh no.

I pushed the door open, instantly looking at the city lights. I walked outside and felt the refreshing hair whisper against my ear, the smell of something with bacon near me, and looked at the single table in front of me.

''Ha, ha.''

Abby squinted at me when she heard me laugh, ''You ungrateful son of a bitch.''

''HA HA HA HA HA,'' My stomach was hurting, I curled up on myself while my cheeks reddened, feeling my eyes go wet. 

''It's okay,'' Kenma said. ''He's happy, that's why he's laughing.''

He was sitting at the table looking at me, wearing the black and yellow hoodie I ordered for him, drinking strawberry soda. The dim of the Christmas lights on the table lit his face in an angelic way, I swear he used to be celestial or some shit, looking all pretty and handsome at the same time. The refreshing night made me feel my embarrassment warm my face even more, feeling the sweat form at my forehead and my palms.

''Welp, I'll let you two alone, I'll be heading out,'' Abby was walking away, pumping my shoulder on her way out and winking at me. What did she think she was, my godmother fairy? God, so cheesy.

''Thank you for the gift,'' Kenma told me while opening up a bag of cheese potato chips, the ones I like. ''Abby told me you thought about it for weeks.'' He said stretching the hoodie strings and smiling to the side.

Hands on my pockets and regaining my cool, I walked up to him, a big grin on my face, I sat on the chair in front of him.

The table was well put up, a black tablecloth, a pair of electric candles in the middle, Christmas lights at the sides, whine cups filled with artificial pink color soda, two potato chip bags and the main plate, Pasta Carbonara and bacon bits, which happens to be a favorite of mine. Feeling his inspecting eyes on mine, I chinned up, put my elbow on the table and rested my face on my palm, grabbing some potato chips from his bag. ''You know it's supposed to be your birthday, not mine. All of this seems out of place.''

Kenma sighed and put the hoodie's hat over his head, interlacing both of his hands, he brought them to his lips, hiding the little smile that always appeared when I talked to him in our alone time. ''Everything about you is out of place.''

''Eh? And what about you? Big streamer, YouTube star?'' I pointed my finger to his face, which he grabbed and moved it away, resting one of his hands with mine. My grin grew bigger.

''Kuro, you can't even walk into a grocery store without making a fuss. Don't come and tell me that I'm somewhat recognizable when in your case, the moment people look at you, they start crying.''

''Hmm, true. You'd probably melt before having to look at a bunch of people yelling your name uncontrollably.''

''Yes, probably,'' Kenma tightened our grip, making my gaze follow the motion. He let go and put my palm up, and passed his fingertips on my open palm, tracing every line, massaging my rough tips, hard to the touch 'cause of the guitar strings I've played through my years. ''Kuro.''

''Tell me.'' I immediately answered ready to comply. 

He looked me directly into my eyes, and with the soft smile he only saves for me he says, ''You're going to be okay.''

Kenma really was something else.

My hand started trembling lightly, and I felt an uncool snort fall off my lips, I took a big breath and bit for a moment my tongue, twisted so that I couldn't talk. Still, I managed, swallowed it and said. ''You really think so, huh?''

He only nodded, setting his hand on my cheek, fondling lightly with his fingertips, to then move to the back of my ear and press lightly at my earlobe. My shoulders fell and my nose stung.

''I like singing,'' I said in a pathetic pained voice, sniffling away the tears that were already tracking down my face.

''I know you do,'' He responded, understanding.

''It sucks sometimes,'' I explained, recalling the hard days where I could barely rest.

Then both of his hands were on my face, letting me smell the artificial cheesy scent.

''We both know it does,'' He said in a nod, not denying that it was a pain in the ass sometimes.

''I'm afraid of what could happen to you,'' my eyebrows were now high in my forehead, my hand reaching for his on my face, anchoring me to the earth.

Kenma smiled and pinched my cheek again, ''We'll be fine.''

I leaned closer to his face, letting my other hand play with his hair, curling the strands on my fingers.

''If you say so, then it's okay,'' I whispered inches close to his lips.

''Probably,'' Kenma responded, inclining his head to the side, eager and welcoming.

We linked our lips in a soft breath, letting the sappy feeling grow inside my chest, all the guilt that flowed through my veins to be replaced with the relaxing and familiar tickling on every inch of my skin. Feeling his soft lips on my, letting myself tell him how much I love him just by my touch. Kenma smiled against my lips, cleaning another one of my rebel tears with his thumb, letting me know without words that I shouldn't be ashamed, I shouldn't be afraid, I'm doing what I do 'cause I love doing it.

And I know that whatever happens, happens. Because either way, we'll be fine since he'll be by my side no matter what.

♬♫♪◖◗♪♫♬

'' _ Kuro, are you going to go with Akami-san for that interview next week? _ ''  _ Kenma asked, still focused on the TV in front of him. _

_ ''Yeah, I think so. It'll be cool, maybe I can get a job,'' I said as I ate another potato chip that I found at the night table earlier. They were too salty, that's how Kenma likes them. _

_ ''You'll get the thing,'' He responded, still focused on his game, while I rested sideways on the floor, letting my head rest on his shoulder. _

_ ''You think so?'' I responded while I looked at the green Link walk in the TV screen in front of us. _

_ ''Yes,'' He said, eyes still focused on his game. _

_ ''Welp,'' I stretched and rested my head on his lap, eating another chip and drinking from Kenma's strawberry soda. ''If you say so, then I'm going to get it.'' _

_ ''Yeah.'' _

_ ''Yep,'' I took out my phone to look at some memes while I waited for Kenma to die and play my turn, which was going to get another ten minutes at least. _

_ ''Kuro.'' _

_ ''Yeah? Hey, look at this meme.'' _

_ ''I like you.'' _

_ My phone fell from my hands hitting my chest, I looked at his red face, trembling mouth and unfocused eyes evading my face. I heard the yelp of Link dying in the game, while I felt my chest too big to be my own and a broad smile across my face. _

_ ''Yeah, I like you too.'' _

**Author's Note:**

> I had this sitting in my WIPs for four months, as a first person practice and didn't plan on posting it. But then I finished it, left it there to collect dust in my google docs and revisited three weeks ago. It's not a big of a deal, but it made me cry at some point and it should at least see the light of day.  
> And poor Kuroo, having to deal with my feelings and self-projection. If you want to yell at me, freely do so at my new [ twitter](https://twitter.com/dirtypawsstory) and also you can check out the fanfic banner in this [ link](https://imgur.com/OnrLfRU)  
> Hope you enjoyed it still, thank you for reading!.


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